back-tracking

(birthday present from my cousin Nancy in May)

You may have noticed that I haven't been here in a while, and before that only sporadically! The biggest reason has been that I have just been totally empty in the brain department, at least the part of the brain that writes posts. We've been under a lot of financial stress lately, and for some reason this has erased the part of my brain that creates posts for my blog. (I have, however, been reading you guys. I'm not always able to comment as I've got some kind of crazy computer or blogger thing going on where it won't take my comments, or only under anonymous, or, as some of you know, I've commented by email on occasion.)

In looking back thru my photos today, I realized that I have been selling myself short. I keep thinking that I need to be creative, or entertaining, or enlightening. But what I realized (and what you guys have actually told me before) is that I could just be journaling my daily or weekly events whether they were interesting to anyone else or not! I know I enjoy reading other posts where they are just talking about the minutiae of their lives, so why can't I? Well, of course, the answer is that I can! And I will!

What I realized, also, as I was looking thru the photos, is that I have photos of several events in my grandsons lives that I didn't post or write about, and phases in my garden as the last few months have passed, of the tornado damage, and even some cute doggie photos, all of which should be in my blog when I decide to print it up for the boys to read someday. Sooo, if you will bear with me, I'm going to go back thru those photos of the last few months and do individual posts on those individual events, instead of doing one of my 'if I had been posting' posts, so that I don't regret letting them pass on by with no notice.

Now, if I just don't procrastinate until the end of the summer to get those posts started ...

Blog Anniversay

During the pain and sickness of the last month, I missed noting my blog anniverary - one year on Feb. 25. It's been an interesting year, I've met so many nice people, and I've learned a lot about myself, what I like and don't like. Like what, you might ask?

(1) I learned that as much as I like to write, I'm not really an author or an entertainer. I pretty much write as if I'm talking to someone in person, which is funny since I probably wouldn't be talking to you if you were here in person (we all know I have socialization issues!). There's not a lot of razzle dazzle or anything really educational, and to me seems almost boring, but also like talking to a neighbor over the fence. I've talked about bluebirds, snakes, flowers, pets, grandkids, driving down country roads, clouds, my 'stuff', pee on public toilet seats, cuckoo clocks, and adoption, childbirth, and miscarriages.

(2) I'm not attracted to a lot of razzle dazzle blogs, but rather to bloggers who talk from the heart and seem like regular everyday people I might meet over the back fence or in line at the grocery store, like Ginger with her chickens and Susie with her homemade dog treats. We have enough things in common to share an email here and there on this and that, and that's the part I really enjoy.

(3) I'm attracted to people who are 'flawed' in some way, like Annie at Quiet Commotion, who are working thru issues from a dysfunctional past or poor health and are not afraid to share their thoughts and feelings about it. This isn't surprising, since I had a dysfunctional past, and also wanted to be a social worker at one point in my life. Like I'm always saying, I love the blood and guts of what makes up a person's life along with the joys and triumphs.

(4) It took a while, but I finally found the older generation out there. In the beginning, because I was following my niece Wendy, I was seeing mostly stay-at-home moms and home schoolers, and a lot of crafters and ebayers. Then somewhere along the way I stumbled onto Julie at Midlife Jobhunter, and thru her blog list I found my 'niche'. Not that I don't enjoy the younger moms and women and their trip thru the adventure I've already been on, but I also like being able to talk about my grandsons with those who won't find it boring! And then there's Bernie at Old, Who Me? who is writing from her eighth decade of life!

(5) I'm attracted to people who love animals. Dana and I shared a gazillion emails about the death of her beloved Lucky and then the adoption of her new fella, Beau, and Donna and I have shared training ideas for her rescue Izzy. But even if it's just someone who loves their pet enough to show a photo now and then or who includes their pet in family news, like Mary's humongus poodle Griphon, that's the kind of person I like to read.
(6) I found a few men out there! Glenn and his down-home tales and short stories, Tim who writes quirky posts and poetry that he knows I don't 'get' but read anyway, and Dan and Ron who are photograhers who share their view of the world thru a lens.

(7) Comments are my favorite part of blogging (like you didn't know that already!). I've been known to leave comments longer than the other person's post, and I read all the comments that others leave on other's posts.

Well, I could go on and on. My follower list is pretty short compared to most of my readers, and my blog list isn't too long either. But that's fine with me - I think it feels more intimate. I won't link to everyone, as all you have to do is look at my list! In addition to the ones I've mentioned above, there's Lorna and her search for a healthy life, Ethlemae who writes the most incredibly detailed and entertaining stories of her real life, Renee with her three sons, Missy with her book reviews, Bernie at On My Own who is the nicest and most inspiring person I have ever 'met', Rosaria raising my social consciousness and sharing her passion for writing memoirs and encouraging others to do the same. I know I'm missing some, but my hands are getting tired of typing, and you'll know you're on my radar because I visit you on a regular basis!

In looking back over the posts I've done this last year - approximately 123 if you include those still in draft - I do have a few favorites, including Confessions of a Demented Mawmaw about my temper, Watch Out for the Animals about keeping an eye on our neighbors dogs, the one about the suicide of my brother-in-law titled How Do You Get That Lonely, and the series about our baby bluebird.

What about you? Is there any post or topic in particular that keeps you coming back to visit me?
If you haven't guessed already, this post is a thanks to all of you for stopping in to visit, for wandering to MY wayside, and for sharing yours with me.

Visit with Dana

(photo removed til Dana sends me one she took...yes, I hated it that much)

I was in the middle of doing dishes about 4pm on Monday, the phone rang, and it was Dana. They were here! Already! For some reason, I wasn't expecting them til 6pm, so I was a little unprepared, even though I've had several weeks to prepare. After we talked over each other for a few minutes trying to decide what to do - meet at the hotel, meet at McDonalds, come to my house - we decided that I would come to the hotel and they would come out to me in the parking lot. Then she and I would go 'somewhere'.

Why are these situations so...well, not exactly uncomfortable, but...yeah, uncomfortable? Do we hug, even though we don't really know each other, only each other's words? I'm not good at meeting people under the best of circumstances, either getting diarrhea of the mouth or not having any words at all, rarely an in-between conversationalist. And I have a bad habit of jumping into the middle of someone's sentence to insert my own comment before I forget about it, thus throwing the other person off script. Or I throw in a bunch of "me, too's!", or "you, too?"s. And what about a little gift? All the posts I've read about other blogger friends meeting talk about how they shared little trinkets with each other. I didn't have time to even go to the dollar store and get a snow globe with 'Ringgold, Georgia' on it, or an ashtray/spoon rest/shot glass with a Georgia peach on it!

Well, I hurriedly dealt with the dishes, made sure Conner (who I had been with all afternoon and who spends the night on Monday since he doesn't have school on Tuesday) knew that I was leaving and would be back soon and that Pawpaw would be here with him. Remembering at the last minute that I had forgotten to put a month worth of trash and clutter from the inside of my small Nisson into the trunk, I dealt with that and was on my way for the fifteen minute drive to the hotel.

There they were, standing at the door when I pulled into the parking lot in front of room 107. Looking just like the few photos of them on Dana's blog! It was then that I remembered the crack going across my windshield. Darn, I should have told her about that so she wouldn't think...well, I don't know what I didn't want her to think. We introduced ourselves, Joe thanked me for some of the emails I had sent to Dana during a rough patch, and I admired and petted Beau (who is adorable!).


Right away we decided to take photos, in case Joe was asleep when we came back. So, the photo above. Joe took a couple with my camera, a couple with theirs. And I hope to hell that their's turns out better, because I hate this one! Seriously, I know it's not that important, but what the hell was I thinking? Did I forget that this would be splashed across multiple screens out there in blogland? Where is my makeup? Where is the clip that's supposed to hold my bangs back? Oh, and that puckery smile, like I ate a lemon or dill pickle? I broke a chip off a front tooth last week, and was trying to not show it. Plus, Joe took forever to take the picture, as evidenced by Dana's grin...she finally told him that her cheeks were hurting from holding the smile!


So, to sum up the visit so far, they're waiting to meet a blogger friend in the parking lot of a hotel, and up drive's a stranger with a cracked tooth and a cracked windshield, no makeup and a month past a haircut. All that's missing is the bag of boiled peanuts.


Dana and I hop in my car and I drive her around Ringgold. Which took about five minutes. We ended up back at McDonalds, which is right in front of her hotel. After boring the cashier to tears with our confusion at the types of coffee drinks they had, we both got an iced mocha coffee and took our seats.


And talked. And talked. And talked over each other. And said a lot of "me, too!"s, and "you, too?"s. I won't reveal any of Dana's secrets here, but suffice it to say that the hour and a half flew by. And just when we were getting to the comfortable talk instead of the frantic talk, it was time to go. Dana had to go take some pills and get to bed ... (or so she said). I drove her to the hotel, a hug goodbye seemed natural, and neither of us were really ready to end the evening, but...end it we did. After saying our goodbyes, saying we'd keep in touch, she went to the door, and her key didn't work. Knocking to get Joe to open it for her, they waved the final goodbyes and I drove away, realizing as I looked at my watch that it was only 7pm.

How would I sum up the visit? Way too short! A lot in common and similar views on a lot of things. I think next time - and I'm sure there will be a next time if they go back to Florida - we will go somewhere other than McDonalds (the coffee was terrible and the lights too bright), and we won't talk so fast or rush so much and just relax and enjoy. In hindsight, I'm reminded of those speed dating things where you only have x number of minutes to get acquainted, so you say as much as you can about yourself in that time period. Next time we'll have laid the groundwork, and can just get on with building a long distance friendship that now has a firmer foundation. I heard a term the other day in regard to social networking that I thought rang so true, something about it lacking 'genuine interaction'. I think we now have that.

Now, I can't wait to hear what Dana has to say about our visit as soon as she gets her internet service! (And I can't wait to see what happens with my spacing here, because every time I do preview it has no spacing for paragraphs.)

Blogging vs Message Boards

I've been doing a lot of blog reading lately, and continue to be in awe of what's out there. I'm also amazed that I can read for an hour here, but fall asleep five minutes into reading a book!

Several weeks ago I found one that I keep going back to, and have gone back to the beginning to read forward to the present. If you get a chance, visit Ron at Destination: Where the F is Ron, who has traveled the world taking photos of the wonders and worst of the world we live in, and is recording his thoughts and experiences with the posting of some of his work. Here's an example of the beautiful journaling:

"I've been photographing the world for almost ten years now, and have covered some of the worst situations on earth: Cambodia, Afghanistan, Laos, Kenya, and lately, Ghana. I've seen more suffering than I can count, more horror and hatred than I can remember, yet I'm still surprised by what I discover in the far reaches of our planet. In the midst of abject poverty and despair, war and suffering, moments that define the power of the human spirit ultimately prevails--snapshots of hope, humanity, and the sheer will to survive encapsulate my lens. I've come to see how these moments enrich my life, past and present, personal and professional. It's all inter-connected. Life isn't all about successes and failure, triumph and tragedy, there's more to it than that. It's about finding your place, acceptance for who you are, and believing in a better tomorrow."

If that touches you, then you will definitely want to drop by his place to read more. I was particularly touched by 'A Balancing Act' of 11/24/08, and 'Language of Light 'of 12/15/08.

Also in regard to blogging, I've been fascinated with the comments. It's very time consuming, but sometimes the comments are as good as the post. I'm never sure what kind of comment to leave myself, and have noticed that I have a tendency to go overboard, to 'analyze' what was posted and give a 'waxing poetic' reply. I don't think I like that, even if it is my natural way of talking even when I'm just having a conversation with my daughter!

I'm sure everyone has heard about Kanye West's obnoxious interruption of Taylor Swift receiving a Best Female Video award. Just for the hell of it, I went on the message board of one of the online news articles, and once again I was blown away by the vitriol, absurdity, and lack of civility that society can display on these boards. Whether they're just being 'silly' or trying to impress, bored and wasting time, or whether they are truly hateful people, you can never tell. I rarely read these, but guess I do sometimes to be 'entertained' by the comments, which is how they keep these things going. I'm feeding the monster (though I never leave a comment)!

Many said that Kanye is a racist, dissing a little white girl in favor of a black artist. Someone said that if this had been a white guy interrupting a black artist, Al Sharpton would already be on the scene. One said that he deserves to be sent to visit his mother (who is dead), while a few others said flatout that he deserves to die. Another said that you'd never find a Mexican doing something like this, and then someone dissed the Mexicans with some stereotypical comments.

Well, you know how they go...in a blink of an eye, everyone is trying to out-do someone else's negative and outrageous comment, and it doesn't take long before race, politics, or sex come into it. I just think it's sad, and wonder what an alien from outerspace would think of this stuff if they found it in a time capsule. I think it displays the dregs of our society, not a normal sharing of views. (Well, I guess I should amend that to say that there are probably some perfectly nice people who are acting in a less than intelligent fashion.) And I think Kanye West, no matter what you think of his talent, is just a narcissistic obnoxious pig who was seen chugging alcohol throughout the evening and made an ass out of himself. Not as a black or a white, not as a Democrat or Republican, or as an entertainer who thinks he has entitlement, but as a drunken ass. An ass is an ass is an ass, and by any other name is still an ass.

You all know that I've only been blogging for seven months, whereas some of you have been at it for several years. I didn't even know what blogs and message boards were until this year! So all this is still a period of learning and discovery. And I have to say that the comments I see on the blogs I've found have never been anything but kind. That's something for the blogging world to be proud of. I guess the old adage 'if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all' applies in most places.

And let me also say that, despite following everyone's directions to a tee, I still cannot get the link to do what it's supposed to do, even though I did manage to do it somewhere else. No matter how many times I try, it goes to one of those 'server can't be found' things, and did you mean bla bla bla. If you click on the bla bla bla, it actually will go to the link. Could it be something with blogger and not me? Like I said, I did it once before and it worked, and I'm following directions exactly. Hmmm. Like I said, still learning ... POST SCRIPT: I FIGURED IT OUT!!! I WAS DOING IT RIGHT ALL ALONG, BUT I HAD A POP-UP WINDOW THAT WAS BLOCKING THE LINK!!!

As a side note, let me mention that the two hour season premier of 'House' is next Monday!!!!!! Woohoo! Note to my daughter: I WILL NOT BE BABYSITTING ON MONDAY, SEPT. 21. (Well, I actually will since that's Conner's night to spend the night, but I reserve the right to drug him!)

My First Award!

I hopped over to see Julianne at http://midlifejobhunter.blogspot.com/ yesterday for my daily visit, and was surprised to find that she was giving me an award! It took me a minute to realize that she was talking about me, but when I did I let out a huge 'woohoo'! Here's what the award is about :

The Super Comment Award/You Don't Say Award is given to bloggers who leave comments worth discussing on other blogger’s posts. It may also be because those comments are great in quantity, great in substance, or just great in general. An award that recognizes great commenters is a brilliant idea. And that's the idea behind this You Don't Say Award. Getting awards is always an honor but an award that recognizes those bloggers who consistently comment is a high honor indeed. The You Don't Say Award "... is for beautiful people who practice blogging etiquette by visiting or visiting back, and leaving comments. Their observations are apt and helpful and it's a pleasure to have them comment on your posts..."

I had never read a blog until six months ago, when I found out that my husband's niece, Wendy at http://wisdomofthemoon.blogspot.com/, had one, and I started reading it. In the blink of an eye I had jumped in with both feet and started my own blog, not even bothering to read anything but the most basic instructions. (See my first blog ...)

Pretty soon I was reading blogs that had all these intriguing names over on the side, so I started visiting them, and then had to go thru their lists, and so on and so on. But you know how it all starts, don't you! Before I knew it, I was totally hooked on reading all those intriguing titles ... and also realizing that maybe I was in over my head, that maybe I shouldn't have jumped in with both feet without looking before I leapt! The talent, the ideas, the opinions, the examples of our commonalities and our differences -it's awesome and overwhelming at the same time, and I wasn't sure if I measured up against it all, if I had enough stories, knowledge, or writing skills to interest anyone but myself.

AsI plugged along with my own postings, I began to log in with that thrill of anticipation to see if someone had left a comment, and was hyper-excited if I found one! Niece Wendy was one of the first, and in addition to commenting on my post, she gave me hints and suggestions - like "leave a thoughtful comment". So that's what I always try to do - leave a comment as if I'm talking face to face with that person. And, in turn, I began to anticipate someone else's thoughtful comment, and a lovely cycle began.

I'd like to pass this Super Comment/You Don't Say award, to my niece, Wendy at Wisdom of the Moon, for giving me so many thoughtful comments. (And maybe she'll be soooo appreciative she will explain the link/backlink thingie in a less complicated way than the directions given on blogger.) I'd actually like to give it to everyone on my current blog list, so feel free to copy and paste it to your blog if you want to!

I don't have that many readers/commenters right now, but the ones I do have are so appreciated, and I'm looking forward to many years of meeting more and more of you, and you can be sure that I will return the favor.

And look how cute that panda is and how he brightens my space!

blog, blog, blog...

(imagine, for no particular reason, that I'm saying that in the voice of a chicken)

I have read about 100 blogs this week. I'm just about blogged out. There are so many incredibly talented people out there! Talented with crafts, humor, insight into the human condition. Cynics. Poets. Novelists. Prayer blogs. So many appealing recipes! All thinking they have something to say and hoping that someone will listen and enjoy, challenge and share.

Some go above and beyond to be funny or irreverant about something. Some are outlets for bitching about a former spouse or the economy or politics, or life in general. Many are married with four children and looking for a place to talk adult speak. Home schooling is very popular, and for some reason there are lots and lots of teachers (especially kindergarten). There are extreme environmentalists, and just homeowners wanting to live a greener life. And sports - oh my gosh, entry after entry about a favorite soccer or basketball team! Entertainers. Politicians. You name a topic, and there are hundreds of blogs about it. Who knew there were so many things to read and write about, and how many different takes there are on any given topic?

Here are a few things I noticed on my blog adventure this week:

(1) No matter how long a blog posting is, no matter how much time the blogger spent on research or soul searching, the comments received are only one word or two sentences long. "Funny!", "Enjoyed the read!". There might be 61 comments to a post, but most don't give the feedback that one would expect for the effort the poster put into sharing their thoughts/feelings/intellect/recipe/advice/book review/etc. I would find that to be incredibly frustrating and unsatisfying, but I do understand that with so many blogs to visit one doesn't have time to write a comment equivalent to a dissertation; plus, most people reading a post do have a life off the internet, and probably are just passing time until the washer is done or the kids get home from school or until they're sleepy/bored enough to be able to sleep. And just someone leaving a message that they did read your post is a plus!

(2) Many of the posts gave me a headache. Literally. Some of that was because I came in the middle of the game - they'd been posting for two years and I was just reading the most recent five, so I was often confused about what was going on. Some had so many "gadgets" or "widgets" or whatever they're called (I'm still working on figuring out the lingo) that I literally got a headache trying to track the usually three column wide page. Advertisements, special interest logos, contests, archives. So much to read! And let's not forget the list of followers and favorite blogs, with the most imaginative or puzzling titles, all of which you want to check out for yourself (which is how I ended up on my marathon blog journey).

(3) Many bloggers seemed to be trying to out-blog someone else (to see who gets the most hits? the most money? be the most outrageous? get the most ego strokes?). I found these to be almost irritating, like they were being written by a type A personality or a manic depressant in the manic stage. But that's just me - I get confused easily and don't handle too much outside stimulus well.

(4) Some bloggers really disturbed me. I honestly worried for their mental health. Writing is a good outlet for stress and, as a mental health counselor once told me, serves as a"regurgitation of the garbage that makes us mentally and physically sick". But some posts or blogs that I read were very much to the dark side of a person's nature.

Anyway, the point of all this is that I've been wondering why I decided to start a blog in the first place, and what do I expect from it, now nine posts into this, beyond hearing myself talk? I don't have any expertise to share on any particular subject, so mostly it will be only talk. Whether that talking will prove relevant to anyone besides myself would be open to debate, so I'm guessing that it will mostly be geared as an update to family and friends about my activities and the state of my mental health. Like an email to ten people at once, rather than ten separate emails. Since I'm probably two years behind on most of my emails, and the more behind I get the more likely it is that I will continue to procrastinate, this would make sense!

That's why, if you are receiving this as an email, I have set my post settings to send it to you as an email for a couple weeks as a mind jogger that I'm doing this. Then I will eliminate it and just let you decide for yourself if I'm worthy of your visit on occasion.

I'd love to hear from you ... what are your favorite kind of blogs, what is a particular favorite blog, what do you dislike about blogs, when do you usually find the time to read blogs (or do you?).

Hope you're having a good weekend! We're rainy and cold here, hence the time for a too long posting!

MY FIRST BLOG POSTING

I had no idea that chosing a blog title would be so difficult! I have two sheets of paper with ideas, all starting with the notion that I wanted to be a spot where friends and family or passersby in search of good conversation could drop in for a spell. We could sit at a kitchen table. Or in a garden. At a pub or coffee shop.

A google search of the word "wayside" (which had just hopped into my brain out of nowhere) found the John Lee Hooker song "I was standing by the wayside, just trying to flag myself a ride". Then there's a German Proverb "fair flowers are not left standing along the wayside long". Or there's "Fringes of the Wayside" by Steve Inglis, which sounded pretty cool! Just what IS the wayside, and why did that word jump into my head? In the old fashioned sense, the wayside is simply the side of the road, and the road is a path affording passage from one place to another. That's it, I said to myself! I want to be the roadside stand where you stop to pick up fresh tomatoes and cataloupe or a cold glass of lemonade! A stop to refresh yourself as you travel down the sometimes confusing and frustrating, often too crowded, and more often than not very impersonal ... internet highway!

So what can you expect when you wander to the wayside to visit me? Hmm. More often than not, you'll just find me talking to myself, hoping that you'll feel comfortable enough to chime in from time to time (preferably with a paragraph!) Not exactly a Dear Diary, and not a Gratitude Journal. Maybe I'll be talking about my grandsons and the joys and frustrations of being a grandmother (mawmaw). Or about animals and animal rights and my attempts at making sense of animal neglect, or about my volunteering efforts for the cause. My view of current events. The frustrations, fears, and joys associated with getting older (I turned 60 this year). My garden battles with fire ants or the bliss of having a pair of blue birds sitting on my deck. Well, I just won't know until the time comes!

What I can tell you is this: my blog won't be about step-by-step craft projects, home schooling, details of a dream vacation to the Bahamas or the Alps, or about religion or politics. It won't be about a novel in the works, or a new poem I've written. It might be about a favorite tv show that was on. Or a song just released. Nothing deep beyond casual musings on life in general - and my life in particular.

One final thought on this my first blog entry. I'm known to be socially shy, but I have no shortage of written words! I like to say that I wax poetic, but the truth is that I just get carried away with the "sound" and beauty of the written word, that I use ten words where two would do the job. As I was exploring the use of the phrase "by the wayside", I was led to an article with that title written about Stanford Cazier, former president of Utah State University. Pulling out a small section from it describing his verbal skills will tell you a little about my own method of writing: "The words spill out ... as if there are more words and ideas inside than can possibly be addressed. They are cluttered with asides and fragments and insights and tangents and observations on everything...They seem to flow from an inexhaustible fount, building a verbal edifice that is immediatley torn down and replaced with a grander one, weaving and pulsing in an all-inclusive commentary on the mysteries of nature and man's place within it."

No one will be writing articles like that about me - I'm just saying that I sometimes get carried away! But I hope that you will enjoy what you find here, that you will be refreshed by your visit, that you will return from time to time, and that you will share some of your thoughts with me. Let's face it, there are a gazillion blogs out there and only so much time in a person's day to check them out. Come by when you can, and send a shout out if you care to.