Goodbye to 2009

I've had the house to myself this morning - no husband and no grandsons - so I've been reflecting on this past year. The television takes care of the national news reflection for me - Octomom, Balloon Boy, First Black President Takes Oath, National Health Care Battle, Michael Jackson Dies, Teddy Kennedy Dies, Plane Lands on Hudson, etc. But, for my own reflections, I have to turn to my calendar, on which I try to post most of the important stuff, and the photographs that are a sure fire reminder. Without them, I'm not sure I'd remember anything but the normal day to day, and there's a lot of that! I call it "same old, same old", because every day is pretty much the same.

January : *It began with a sigh of relief because our bankruptcy had been discharged on Dec. 31. *David's mother died of old age and alzheimers, and we went to Colorado for her funeral and a family reunion of sorts. This is where we moved from in 1988 (and wonder to this day why), so it's always bittersweet when we visit...and then have to leave again and return to Georgia. *Started my Facebook account. *David and our son-in-law entered a new venture together, a franchise where David works in conjunction with moving and insurance companies on damage claims, repairing furniture and whatever else he can. After 35 years of being in construction, David's body has gone into old age mode, so this was something that was still in his line of work (anything to do with wood), but not so hard on his knees and back.

February: *Bought my first digital camera, finally. *Started babysitting at a church nursery for a Mom's Group twice a month, which bored me to tears but was $50 each, and I got some great photos on the way to and from for my 'Wednesday's Wander to the Wayside'! *Garrett turned six. *Did an airedale transport. *Published my first blog post on the 25th, with absolutely no clue as to what I was doing or what lay ahead!

March: crickets chirping

April: *Had a pair of bluebirds nesting right out the front door, and found one beautiful little egg on the 26th. *Conner had his tonsils out, a routine procedure, but the waiting made me so nervous!

May: *Found a tiny naked baby bird out front in the bluebird house! *Snake ate our baby bluebird . *Adopted eight month old Oliver, a long haired chihuahua, on the 23rd from a rescue group ($250 that I had saved from house cleaning and babysitting, + $150 for the first vet visit. Ouch!)

June: *Riverbend Festival in Chattanooga. *First Father's Day without my Dad. *Had a wake-up call in regard to my flash temper in a confrontation with Garrett.

July: *Daughter turned 35.

August: crickets chirping. Oh wait, we went to the Chattanooga Nature Park and did our first canoe trip with the boys!

September: Conner turned four.

October: Alice and Doug (sister-in-law and her husband) visit from Colorado for a week - easily the highlight of my year, even though we mostly just hung out around the house - oh, and did go to the Grand Ole Opry Museum in Nashville.November: Last bankruptcy attorney payment and last truck payment. Woohoo! Unfortunately not extra money in the pocket, but money to put toward taxes.

December: Talked to brother Lawrence (Yes, that's right. I actually called him and had a nice conversation.)

Like I said, a lot of 'same old, same old'! And I'm very grateful for that, because it means that we didn't have any traumas or dramas in 2009 (except for Nita dying), and having no medical issues was especially nice since we don't have insurance. I'm very fortunate to be able to spend a lot of time with the grandsons and my daughter, so that's something I'm really really grateful for. I guess the worst part of the whole year, like with most people, was that we're in financial turmoil. Some months barely surviving, but we're still standing.

I don't usually make new year resolutions, so let me just say that there are a few things that I want to do this next year, that I want to give more attention to:

(1) I want to clean out my tiny laundry room that has somehow become a pantry/storage/laundry room that I can barely get into. I have to stand on a stool or a cooler to be tall enough to see the settings on the dryer behind the clutter piled on top. There are pesticides and paints stored right next to crackers and cereal. Need I say more? The problem is that we also have a very small kitchen, so to pull everything out of the laundry room means also having to clear all the clutter out of the kitchen into the small living room, which means...well, you get the idea. If I would just take that first step toward getting it done.

(2) I want to start walking my dogs more. I started out with good intentions with Oliver, walking him and Charity together, then walking Eva Jean and Oliver. Then we had some dogs that were off leash that made walking stressful, so I got out of the habit. I need to start walking them again because it's so good for them, and because I need the exercise to help get rid of that roll that has developed around my waist.

(3) I want to work on having a stable pack. Eva Jean, Charity, and Oliver individually are the best dogs in the world, but together are totally dysfunctional (except for Oliver and Charity together). The first unstable pack we have had in 35+ years of being pet owners, so it's something we were totally unprepared for when it started four years ago, and have not taken the initiative to fix, have not stepped up to the plate to be strong pack leaders.

(4) I've been so grateful for having found my inner voice on my blog, (the voice that seems to disappear when in a social setting), and for having found so many other blogs and bloggers. I can spend hours reading what everyone has to say! And that's the problem. So, I want to spend less time at the computer and more time living my life, no matter how ho hum it might be! Just like with Garrett and his computer video games and tv cartoons, I need to set limits for myself on how long I can sit here at the computer.

(5) I'm sixty-one years old. That hour glass/clock is ticking! Yes, I may have another twenty years yet to live and try to get it right, or I may drop from a stroke tomorrow. I feel that I should want to live more consciously. I don't mean that in a spiritual way, but in a 'get the hell off your ass and get out there' way. Seriously. I am so much of a homebody and nester that I rarely leave the house except to the store or Melody's, or go somewhere with the boys, or to clean someone's house or pet sit. I don't have a passion to follow up on. But I need to figure out how to get myself out of the house. Maybe volunteering at the animal shelter. Maybe getting a job. Who knows what might be out there for me. Something. Something to enrich my life, something to enrich my soul, something to contribute to the community I live in, something to make my husband, daughter and grandsons proud of me, to make myself proud of me? (Why did tears jump to my eyes when I wrote that sentence?) Problem is, I'm perfectly happy being just a homebody and a nester, a wife, mother, and mawmaw. This isn't the first time I've talked about this issue, and I'm sure it won't be the last!

No matter what happens, I'm going to continue to wander around my wayside, and I hope you will continue to join me when you can.

Wishing you and yours a safe New Year's Eve, and absolutely a healthy and happy 2010 that is enriched by the love of family and the comfort of friends.